Tasmanian Lobster attacks Tasmanian Sheep

If you want to be covid-safe, why not think about Tasmania? An isolated island, far away down in the Southern Ocean. Tasmania is a magic place. A peaceful, uncrowded, beautifully scenic island, framed by magnificent surf breaks and beaches. I, myself, have lived here for twenty years, now. But there are little 'tweaks,' in Tassie. In other words, it is one of the safest places in the world to be... except if you're attacked by one of the many freaky animals who live here. For example, Lobsters, which leave the water, to take down spring lambs and drag them back into the ocean. And there's the Tiger Snakes, the Giant Squid, rabbits with teeth, people in charge of computers who should be in charge of driving a tractor, hamburgers with the lot wrapped in glad-wrap from the day before, mass numbers of naked old people swimming at the beach in the middle of winter, and people being eaten alive by a White Pointer Shark while snorkelling for shellfish. 

Don't get me wrong, I want people to visit, so that the economy is stimulated and others can share in this wondrous place. I just, in good conscience, cannot recommend visiting the island, with dangers such as the aggressive Tasmanian Lobster. Maybe, next year. 

Mister Jeff.